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Sunday, March 14, 2004
She woke up this morning with a heart so full of love and happiness. Staring out of the window, she broke into a smile, as bright as cheerful as the sunlight. She was about to see her lover very soon. Taking a deep breath of the fresh air of morning dew, she stretched out her arms to her side, as if to embrace the world.
It was all too pefect to be true...
Had an arguement with my baby again. We quarrelled over the phone at Far East yesterday too. I don't know what's wrong with us these days. Maybe he's getting really sick of life inside there, and he's therefore getting cranky. Or maybe I am PMSing too. I've got no idea, but I hate for us to be like this, it makes me sad, so very sad...
It seems like no matter what I do, it's never right in his eyes. This is one thing that haven't changed even after we got back together. No matter if I am being caring or cold towards him, somehow I am still in the wrong. Sometimes, I feel that I'm at my wits end. I don't know what to do to please him. Maybe there's nothing I can do... I can't be perfect, I can only try and do my best. But he doesn't appreciate anything, it's never enough for him. My love, my efforts and my heart reach out to him in vain.
It's not just the sadness, but the fear. The fear of our relationship turning into a replica of the past. I tried to calm myself down, I don't want to spoil this day, which we've both waited for so long. But this time, my heart disobeyed.
... Soon she was drowning in a sea of emotions. They were suffocating her, pulling her down, down and down... She couldn't break free, she was a prisoner to them. Closing her eyes hopelessly, she felt her breath shortening every second.
A solitary tear escaped from the corner of her eye. She hated herself at that very moment. But in the misty haze of despair and resignation. All she could to was to lie down and weep. Bitterly.
7:18:00 AM
Yours Truly
Ingrid
25 years old
Kievan's Mommy
Still Pink Lovin'
Faded Memories
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
February 2005
April 2005
June 2005
November 2005
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
April 2007
March 2010
deep inside me. a silent whisper in my mind.
sweet surrender to your love divine. peace enfolding.
in the stillness i empty my soul. and your healing presence flows.
as i breathe the air of heaven. drawing in your fragrance when i breathe.
i feel your fullness come alive inside of me. you're the breath that i breathe.
it's taking hold. like a second nature when i savour. savour you. as i breathe.