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Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Baby Kievan is: 1 year, 10 months, 1 week & 4 days old

In your life, you'll take note of many people. One whom you shared something special, one who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to. The one you're with currently... And the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person you were with which everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose. Ending up with someone, finding a longtime
partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. An equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become dealbreakers simply because
you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are not good together; it's just that it's not right yet, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you will be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it will work because you're ready. It will work if it's the right time and you will make it work. So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. There's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter.

All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about. You'll think about them because you will wonder, "What if they were here today?" You will wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life. If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. No matter how fairytale-liked you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you are already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him or her every so often, but it's alright.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing. But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it's not yet too late? Simple... find him or her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder, what if you got that one? Ask him or her out and say,

"Hey you, you're the one that almost got away."

PS: Got it out of Friendster. Sweet hmm?

3:47:00 AM

Monday, January 15, 2007

Baby Kievan is: 1 year, 10 months & 2 days old

Minimal words, but pictures will tell a thousand tales.

Baby at the Singapore Motorshow 2006, in a miniature Alfa Romeo. No, he's not a model, but lots of people did stop in their tracks to snap a picture of him. A great day with Joey and her boyfriend.

Baby at Downtown East, atop a toy horse. Need not fly miles away to have a good time, we already did, with my mother, grandmother, aunties and cousins. A heartwarming night of love.

Baby at East Coast Park, enjoying the sand, sea and breeze. It was a fun day, filled with laughter and innocent happiness, in company of Meiyi, Jianjie and Weiren. We cycled (yes, I cycled my boy) and Kievan was the star for the day, with everyone's attention and concern on him.

Picture taken by Clara at my place. Baby looks like he's posing, but he was actually holding my hand. Lala, managed to snap it in a very natural manner and I love it! It's my favourite picture for now.

Picture taken by yours truly this morning. I woke up to him sitting beside me, watching Barney and wearing his cap. It was too adorable and I had to snap a picture of him. Anyway, the cap was given to him by Clara and Nelson. A blue Thomas & Friends cap. I think Clarence will like it... Heh.

What can I say? I love him so much, no amount of words can express how I feel.

The only thing in the world worth working for, worth fighting for, worth dying for.

My Kievan.

3:20:00 PM

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Baby Kievan is: 1 year, 9 months, 3 weeks & 4 days old

For everyone I love and care for:

Corrinne May - Safe In A Crazy World

i try to smile my tears away
i try to keep my cool
oh but one more door gets in my way
i feel like such a fool
trampled and bitter
my heart just wants to bleed
and stop believing in me

it feels like nothing is for certain
and that nothing comes for free
when they're lowering the curtain to the theatre of my dreams
i stumble and i crumble
and i'm sinking to my knees
but you you cradle me

you keep me flying
you keep me smiling
you keep me safe in a crazy world
you understand me
embrace my fragility
you keep me safe in a crazy world
and in your arms i find the strength
to believe in me again

noise keeps chasing me
no matter where i go
oh and life likes pretending that it's on a tv show
when it's hard to tell what's real
from what the world just wants to preach
you are the voice i seek

cause when i'm wrapped up in your arms
nothing else can touch me
what a wonderful way to recharge
i feel like i can breathe again

The road uphill will be rough, but what's tough, when I have you guys giving me a slight push when I start to falter. When I have you guys laughing and crying with me just so that I wouldn't be lonely doing it myself. What's tough, when I have you guys protecting my back with all that you can.

It makes me ashamed to even think that it will be a toilsome journey.

7:37:00 PM

Friday, January 05, 2007

Baby Kievan is: 1 year, 9 months, 3 weeks & 2 days old

The clock insistently tapped out the seconds double quick.
tick. tick.
Like a foetal heartbeat.
tick. tick.
Time passed.

Her husband, her lover, her heart, had changed.
He would not remember the years they had together.
Would not remember the joy of them.
Had forsaken her, their child and the life they made together.
Such was his nature.
Such was her fate.
tick. tick.
She would have gone anywhere for him, done anything for him.
He had her heart, he was her all.
But he strode away, so carelessly.
And so she rebuilt her life on the ashes of the dreams
That he had burned beneath her.
tick. tick.
Love could be such a lie.
And she had no place and tolerance, for lies.
Memories would fade in time.
tick. tick.
He, nothing to her.
She, bittersweet in her lonely solitute.
All in time.

4:44:00 PM

Yours Truly
Ingrid
25 years old
Kievan's Mommy
Still Pink Lovin'

deep inside me. a silent whisper in my mind.

sweet surrender to your love divine. peace enfolding.

in the stillness i empty my soul. and your healing presence flows.

as i breathe the air of heaven. drawing in your fragrance when i breathe.

i feel your fullness come alive inside of me. you're the breath that i breathe.

it's taking hold. like a second nature when i savour. savour you. as i breathe.