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Tuesday, June 01, 2004
Madonna - What It Feels Like For A Girl
Feeling: Sad
So the either-i-wake-up-or-i-deal didn't work out after all. It was a lose lose situation for me, as usual. So why am I still surprised or feeling anything about this? Why do I still cry for him?
I gave up sleep, to ensure that I wouldn't overslept, so that I could meet him on time. What do I get in the end? The usual hurl of insults thrown into my face. The usual feel of my aching heart at his words. It's so common for me to feel this way, to hear those words since years ago. So common that I thought I've gotten used to it. I thought.
To him, nothing I say or do is ever right in his eyes. It has always been this way. Of course, naturally it's my fault to him. Since when was nothing my fault?
I'm at my wits end. What am I supposed to do, when everything I do is wrong?
Where did I go wrong? Where did we go wrong?
Oh god, someone, anyone, tell me what to do.
PS: I don't give a damn about what you have to say or think about this anymore. You can treat it as you're the abused victim and I'm the one breaking your heart. Think whatever that pleases you. But don't be surprised that you'll be the one who has another girl going up your house one month later. I don't want to explain anymore, it's never going to work out. You know it, I've done too much till the point where I can do nothing more about this relationship anymore. I know to you, it's never enough. Maybe to you, I've done nothing for you at all. It doesn't matter anymore. Because I'm numb.
11:56:00 AM
Yours Truly
Ingrid
25 years old
Kievan's Mommy
Still Pink Lovin'
Faded Memories
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
February 2005
April 2005
June 2005
November 2005
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
April 2007
March 2010
deep inside me. a silent whisper in my mind.
sweet surrender to your love divine. peace enfolding.
in the stillness i empty my soul. and your healing presence flows.
as i breathe the air of heaven. drawing in your fragrance when i breathe.
i feel your fullness come alive inside of me. you're the breath that i breathe.
it's taking hold. like a second nature when i savour. savour you. as i breathe.