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Monday, December 18, 2006

Baby Kievan is: 1 year, 9 months & 5 days old

Do you see stories in clouds?

I was able to tell stories through them at some point in my life. And without realising, I just stopped staring at the fluffy clouds to see if they tell me anything. Somewhere in between that space of time, did I stopped believing in fairytales? What took away my imagination? Or had I simply grew up?

So I looked up to the heavens and read. I read and read, till I conjured something that doesn't make much sense. But I was happy enough that I could still see something, anything in those soft white clouds. At that moment, I felt like 16 all over again.

"I am healing." I thought to myself, naively, just because I see something in the clouds.

So I looked up to the heavens some days later and started to read again. It wasn't white fluffy clouds, but dark threatening storm clouds. I read and read, and nothing conjured up in my mind. I panicked and wondered what went wrong. Felt like someone had stolen everything away again, right under my eyes.

But it was actually myself, cheating and disappointing my own delusional self. I can never find back that child-like innocence or the kind of simple trust or ingenuousness anymore. I can never laugh and play without feeling a heaviness in my heart too. I haven't felt real happiness for a long time. Who am I now?

And as I walked away, droplets of rain started to fall, my cheeks were wet, but no one will know whether it was the rain or my tears.

11:45:00 PM

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Baby Kievan is: 1 year & 9 months old

It was Mabel's wedding on the 9th of Decemeber. Attended without a date, but Clara and her cousin were kind enough to sit with me throughout the entire dinner. Sharing the table with us were 3 of Mabe's facilitators. Had very interesting conversations throughout the night, accompanied with champagne and a very good wine that Clara brought back from Australia. Tempus Two is the name. I am not a fan of red wine, and am very picky when it comes to liking one, but that wine had me so addicted.

It was a beautiful wedding. Nothing's as beautiful as witnessing so much love and hope between a loving couple. Mabel was a radiating bride and her husband was practically glowing. Of course Clara and I were wallpapers in our pretty dresses. *lol*

Proceeded to meet Meiyi and gang at Partyworld for some singing. Despite my hoarse voice and slight sore throat, I sang like nobody's business. Which of course, came out quite terrible. Hehe. It was a good night, minus the overwhelming fatigue that kept threatening to overcome me. Had supper, exchanged life stories, and headed home.

Something to spice up the post.

Clearest picture of the night and the best nonetheless. Me kissing Meiyi, and she pretending to hate it, thus giving a bird-like expression and a beak-like pout.

Oh yeah, and I have 3 brand new books. The Devil Wears Prada because I didn't manage to catch it at the cinema, Tuesdays With Morrie because I like it so much, and The Five People You Meet In Heaven because I suppose it should be good.

Satisfaction for now.

1:24:00 PM

Monday, December 11, 2006

Baby Kievan is: 1 year, 8 months & 4 weeks old

Happenings @ Zouk

My girls.

What would I be without them in my life?

Cam whoring again before Zhongying leaves for the night.

Zhongying and yours truly.

It was a crazy night, with too much to drink, too much fun, too much unnecessary emotions that had me tearing for awhile. Which sent my poor Zhongying into a shock, because yours truly seldom cries. I was so intoxicated that I can't walk straight or remember certain details of the night. But of course, I did manage to walk myself, give directions to my home, and puke neatly into the plastic bag provided. I too, mumbled ridiculous stuff to Lala, Nick, Jim and Weiren in the car, which I suppose they thought was very amusing. And of course, the climax of the night wasn't me, but my darling Lala. She, who was talking to me throughout the car journey to keep me awake and sane, ended up like this:

The Wasted.

*roflmao* I'm sorry babe. You know how much I love that picture. I totally didn't anticipate that picture when I woke up the next day. Naturally, it sent me into peals of laughter. Until now.

So girls, if I ever get wasted and sleep on the sidewalk, please take a picture of me and don't forget to adjust me into a beautiful pose if I'm not in one.

9:41:00 PM

Friday, December 08, 2006

Baby Kievan is: 1 year, 8 months & 3 weeks & 4 days old

Linda - 也许

经过那么久以后
你依然如此洒脱
我只能跟在身后
不问你是否爱我
也不敢多要求
深怕你不再联络

还是同样的结果
你终于说出了口
说你并不适合我
我知道那只是你的借口
你不想伤害我
却又伤得我彻透

你要求一片天空
请我还给你自由
却没想过
我从来不曾住在你心中
也许我早该看透
我们不会再有以后
哦也许
也许有一天你也会寂寞

12:44:00 AM

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Baby Kievan is: 1 year, 8 months & 3 weeks & 2 days old

Clara, Zhongying and Ingrid @ Mambo Zouk

The girls.

The awesome girls AND a guy suddenly showing up from behind. Amusing~

It was great fun with Clara back from Australia. A night of dancing and drinking with my favourite girls. Very addictive lifestyle and so much fun! *squeals* I never thought that I would be able to play and laugh like that again. But nothing is impossible, when you have great friends. So here's a big *HUG* to all of you out there.

PS: There is no ache. I was just feeling a tad emotional last night.
PPS: Will update very soon.

The girls and the soldier @ Partyworld

The gang.

Clara and me in Weiren's comfy, oversized jacket.

The girls again.

It was my first time singing with all 3 of them, and it was fun. Why didn't we do this earlier? But poor Brainy, being the only soldier, have to sing lots of duets. He and Zhongying actually sang very well in my opinion. I'm a goner when it comes to duets. Just ask Mr Toa Payoh. *lol* Clara sang beautifully in "All Cried Out" and we had hot lemon the whole night. That place is a freaking North Pole. (I want to do a "Happy Feet" tap dance.) Clara can actually withstand the cold the whole time, she must have trained that in Sydney, where the night temperature is freezing. And my Zhongying went prepared in a long sleeve top AND long jeans. Brainy had a thin grandma-liked cardigan, that doesn't look like it will warm him up at all. And I have my comfy oversized jacket provided by Weiren. So that makes us a bunch of happy singers for the night. Wee~

PPPS: There were talks on "Milo Mayo Gao" and threatens on "Peng Lian" pictures last night on MSN. Welcome to my virtual world, where the people are lovable yet intimidating. *rofl*

12:45:00 AM

Yours Truly
Ingrid
25 years old
Kievan's Mommy
Still Pink Lovin'

deep inside me. a silent whisper in my mind.

sweet surrender to your love divine. peace enfolding.

in the stillness i empty my soul. and your healing presence flows.

as i breathe the air of heaven. drawing in your fragrance when i breathe.

i feel your fullness come alive inside of me. you're the breath that i breathe.

it's taking hold. like a second nature when i savour. savour you. as i breathe.